To help or Not to Help?
That is the question……
There are so many opportunities in a given day that we are able to reach out and help someone else. When do we finally stop thinking about ourselves and decide to help our fellow-man or woman? Come on people, the act of selfishness is played out. Michael Jackson (RIP) said it best in one of his hit songs, “Time to make a change, for once in my life!”
The gesture of kindness maybe as small as giving someone a dollar to catch the bus or as large as going to the grocery store once a week for an elderly person you know. Sometimes what seems like a small act to use, really is a life changing experience for someone else.
Here’s my scenario: I like to help people. Seeing a smile on someone’s face because of something I did feels really good to my soul. There are times when I even feel bad when I offer to help someone and my offer is turned down. I try not to let those moments discourage me from extending a helping hand in the future.
I offered a friend (name will not be mentioned) some help today, but was turned down. However, due to my persistent nature, I continued to ask said friend if they needed anything. Here’s a little more detail, my friend is sick, no not mentally or with some life threatening illness, but just a common cold and sinus issues.
I wanted to help that friend out because I DO NOT like seeing people I care about in pain.
My friend flat-out told me ‘NO’ every time I offered assistance. So I got a little confused and yes, somewhat distant. I felt bad, but I didn’t know what to do. I mean, you see a person in need and the natural motherly reaction is to want to help. To help or not to help?
The #1 type people will say, since I’ve asked several time and apparently the person really doesnt want help, “LEAVE IT ALONE!! Move on with my life, and focus my energy on something else!” You are probably right.
On the other hand, the #2 type people will say, since I have an idea of what they want, “Go ahead and get stuff for them anyway, just place it beside them and let them use it as needed!” Another good idea.
So once again, TO HELP OR NOT TO HELP??
When I care about a person, I want to do everything in my power to make sure they are doing ok. Sometimes that might be stepping to the side and letting them determine when they need help. Afterall, you cannot force someone to need or want your help.
This time around I’m going with the #2 type people because I wanna do my part as a friend. That will help me sleep better.
If there’s someone out there who needs your help, be sure to reach out that helping hand. It’s up to that person to decide if they want to accept your offer or not. Either way, don’t lose sleep over something or someone you can’t control!!!!
December 20, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I agree with the #2 type people as well. At the end of the day, it feels better to know you gave your best efforts to assist the situation. However, when it comes to sacrificing your own belief to assist someone…sometimes you must “leave them and the situation alone”. Nothing’s worst than leading a fish to water and then trying to force it to drink. As a friend you has shown your brotherly/sisterly love by just guiding them the right direction.
December 21, 2009 at 8:10 am
Forcing someone to do something satisfies no one but yourself. I learned that I cannot control anyone but myself, so why try. It’s easier to make suggestions and move on.
December 21, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I’m generally a Type 1 person. When I offer my assistant and the person responds “No, thanks” I say “ok, I’ll check back with you later.” Now, when I offer the second time and they again respond “No, thanks” I take them at their word, move on, and focus my energy on other things in my life. I don’t feel badly that the person didn’t want or need my assistant, I don’t lose any sleep or take it personally — we all have times when we have to work things out for ourself and by ourself — it makes us stronger and wiser.
December 22, 2009 at 12:40 am
I am the #2 type. If my friend were sick, I’d just get what helps when one is sick, take it to them with a card or something, give it to them and call it a day. My friend did/does that for me whenever I get sick. She will tie it on my door if she knows I am sleeping. Soup, crackers, OJ whatever makes a sick person feel better. She is truely a good friend. We don’t see each other all of the time but we listen to each other whenever there is a problem and rejoice together at the good things. Do for your friend what will make you feel good and if she is your friend, she will appreciate it even though she told you not to do it. That’s what real friends do for each other…I believe.